Ranty mc rant rant

Here's a depresso for you on this fine winter evening:

I've come to the realisation that I've been kidding myself thinking that paying a shitload of money for University was worth it. When I was doing my A-Levels I genuinely couldn't think of anything I wanted to do, I knew for sure I didn't want to study English as a degree and that I didn't want to go to Uni in London.

So what do I do? I go to Uni in London and study English Literature... It all seems like some massive twisted joke now! Even though I settled to do an English degree I knew the majority of the feeder careers were not things I wanted to go into, and now as the end of my final year approaches I feel like I'm being guided into all of the options for jobs that I don't want anything to do with. Its like being caught in a river rapid and not being able to get out, its infuriating.

I want to do something that makes me happy, while many of the jobs I'm being told about are praise-worthy and difficult jobs, I want something more creatively fulfilling (pretentious as that sounds). I keep going round in circles in my head, should I become a teacher? Should I fuck it and run away with a circus? Its impossible to know what to do, the thought of leaving uni and going straight into a job I don't want fills me with dread, I literally can't do it. And so I've decided not to settle for something just for the sake of a career and for a regular wage. I'm going to keep pushing until I find the job that I really enjoy, and that doesn't feel like a chore every single day.

I wish I'd known a few years ago how I'd feel today, but I suppose none of us are to know until we've all grown up a little bit! Trying to avoid being sucked into a path that has seemingly already been laid out for you is hard as all hell but I won't let it happen to me.

Anyways that's just a little rant/thought I had and felt I needed to get it off my chest. I think I've reached the conclusion that I'm going to run away to either Ireland or Scotland and become a beggar! So theres that :D

On a slightly less stuffy, uppity and annoying note, I hope everyone is enjoying the run up to Christmas, and that stress levels are at a minimum! Remember its about the christmassy feeling, good food and good company, not all about whose bought what for who :) Also my christmas cake is coming along nicely hehe I'm so excited man!! :D